How many cans...

Well well,

tonight turned out to be one of the best nights Ive had in quite some time...regardless of if my friends had a shitty night or not.

I saw minus the bear again (one of my top 5 bands ever). It was the first time I had seen them as a single man and it was better than ever I think...different at least. I got 5 free packs of smokes, a free zippo and a free shirt (which I will never wear...do i look an xl). But the shining moment of the evening was minus the bear buying me 2 shots of jack...really, Im not sure Ive ever felt cooler (im sure I have....but this was up there). 

Sadly, I felt like the oldest dude at the show (and Im sure I was close to it) and the girls wearing six inch heels trying to figure out who the uhaul driver for the band was (just so they could get closer to the band) really put a damper on my night...

Another thing that put said damper on my night was losing a very drunk angela half way throug the show and not finding her until, at least, an hour after the show. Something had pissed her off (when doesnt something...I speak like you know the girl) and she decided to leave halfway through mtbs set...meh, as I often say all's well that ends well...although Im still waiting to hear that she got home safely.

As always, Im drunk. Tonight Im in a great mood(despite having drank PBR most of the night) and Im feeling all kinds of optimistic about my life.

That is all, Im gonna eat my sandwich now.

PS. mtb played "I lost all my money at the cockfights" tonight, it was the first time I had heard it live and, in case you dont know, that song describes my life (or possibly just my drunken mindset) more than any song ever...it was glorious

well...

Im drunk....but i have nothing bad to say...tonight was a good night for a number of reasons...none of which I can say without offending someone, im sure. haha gas chambers and death trains.

goodnight.

Let's try it this way

This is my pre drinking blog. As in Im not drinking yet. I woke up to a surprise blog post, surprise IM conversation (embarassing too), and surprise...an empty fifth of captain. So I decided to try this sober for once. 

I started my new job today, Im back in the pizza business, but it's temporary (two months temporary) and knowing that Im moving and going back to school soonish makes this whole situation a lot easier to swallow. 

Im boring when Im sober, Ill be back in a few hours.

The shyest attempt I'd ever seen at conversation

hello,

Im kinda drunk...It was my dads birthday today, he is 50...ive been around for half of his life now.

So anyway, Im moving come the end of december, and no matter what Im going to be living with an ex girlfriend, Im not sure how I feel about that. Right now it feels like Ive slept with everyone Ive ever known...

I should stop I have to work in the AM....that's right, Ive got a job....and a dog named doug who pisses on my floor...that's right Ive got a floor...so what, so what, so what?!

I live in the buckeye state but Im living Garden State

What the fuck...Ive been unable to sign into this for weeks and suddenly Im automatically signed in...whatev. 

So...I have a few things to say.

For the first time since mallory and I broke up I feel hopeful about my future, the last...5 months (jesus god) my main focus has been not dying and/or killing myself. Now I have something that resembles a plan for the future, I wont go into great detail until its more certain but it involves school (not in columbus) and moving...weeee.

I had the best conversation I may have ever had with my mother tonight...I was completely sober, completely honest and completely blown away by her understanding....or acceptance either way it was really great. I had 2 really good conversations today now that i think about it. I really think that me and my mom could, as a team, be the smartest person in any room we enter together (if that makes any sense)....enough about my mom, im a 24 year old man....right?

Ugh I realized so many things today that I shouldve realized months ago...I suppose everybody works at their own pace...and while I was sober earlier, I certainly am not now so gathering my thoughts is a chore.

The last month has been shit...the months upcoming should be better...and there is no way 2009 can be possibly worse than 2008.

Heather and I are done, I blew her off too many times I suppose, I am in no way ready for a relationship anyway...Im pretty sure she isnt either...and, yea, she is pretty hot but I just cant deal with hearing about animals 9/10s of the time we are talking...for real...I dont give a shit (sorry if you read this...but really, try to think of something more interesting to say to the next guy you try to date)

I was pulled over this week by a dude I went to high school with....what the fuck, Where is natalie portman...and why isnt she falling in love with me yet?

that is all for now

24

There's nothing like a giant guilt trip on your birthday...

For all Intents and Purposes

I only had 3 drinks tonight, which is pretty much equivalent to me not drinking at all. It also seems to be the equivalent of me blowing an 8-ball of coke seeing as Im still up, again, at 3:20am. I need to sleep. 

It's my friend Marty's birthday tonight/today (the 18th) so happy birthday to him. 

Im thinking about diving into a new computer repair project right now just to keep me occupied and perhaps make me tired...maybe, please?

I feel like even my writing is taking a turn for the insane right now...I dont deal well with sleep deprivation but I also apparently dont deal well with trying force sleep...blah....more when Im clear-headed

It's gonna get weird soon

The insomnia won, I didnt sleep at all. I did, however, watch the entire 4th season of entourage in one marathon sitting.

Im hoping this night of no sleep will lead to me getting back to a semi regular sleep pattern...and not lead to somekind of 3 day nonstop bender...I havent started drinking yet today, so it looks like im on the right path...right?

My insomnia is stronger than gas station liquor

Im not drunk tonight. I was drunk tonight but have since sobered up, I havent been sleeping much lately. I also think it's a distinct possibility that I am close to having watched every episode of every decent tv series that has come out in the last 15 years. I have an insatiable appetite for all things pop culture, If I could only throw this passion into something useful...or find a way to make it lucrative that doesnt involve a quiz show. 

I cant even admit, to the two or three people that may actually read this, what I did tonight...that makes it seem worse than it was...Im still not proud of myself...but booze makes me think that I know about things that I dont know about at all...like producing rap songs...At least I wasnt the one rapping. I guess I can admit it. 

onward

So after listening to Immortal Technique a little more I realized that the paranoia and obnoxious political references make him more of a waste of time than anything else...if youre looking for decent rap(or more specifically rap with latin american influences/MCs) listen to jedi mind tricks and/or Army of the Pharaohs. Im pretty sure that during one ten minute block of listening to Immortal Technique today I heard him claim to be atheist, communist, terrorist, and nihilist(not to mention the shit about the government tapping all our phones, and being out to kill him because he knows too much)...Just ridiculous shit...It was better drunk. 

what isnt.

I find writing in here sober to be more difficult than doing it drunk...or otherwise intoxicated. I need something to mute what normally censors even my internal monologue. 

Its after 5am, Im done...more tv shows. Pray that I sleep sometime.

Tonight...

Night 3...still drunk...still drinking for that matter.

regardless.

I got in an argument about music tonight...which is the worst kind of argument for me to get in because, normally, I will just back down and tell you that you are right no matter what because I fear confrontation...but I am very opinionated about music...and I will fight, to the death, about being right about what I think about music. So anyway, I was trying to defend the point that if you could maintain your moral credibility(to yourself) and still make a bunch of money, you would be an idiot to not go down the road that leads to a million dollars...it just blows my mind that people who have lived long enough to know what its like to be poor can grasp so firmly to the idealistic view of "not selling out". Maybe 5 years of art school made me jaded...but I know that I would go for the money in a heart beat...or maybe I'm just old and I'm embracing the fact that I love pop music. I feel that it's simply a natural progression to go from holding on to the underground that raised you to accepting the fact that you can reach a larger audience while making a comfortable living if you are signed to a major label (or working for rolling stone, or making commissioned paintings for the white house etc...) blah enough about that...but, on a related note, if you wanted to hear some really decent (albeit paranoid to the point of making me question if he's schizophrenic) rap you should listen to immortal technique...it's good, he hates the government...and almost everything else...but it's good. 

I feel like I have more to say but I also feel that it would be redundant to keep going at this point. So, for now, I'm done. 

PS. I really like lil wayne and I think you should too (that was the artist I was arguing in defense of tonight...)

well...

So much for regaling you with stories of not wasted nights...I am, once again, drunk.

But tonight was good...for me at least. I drank for free, again. I am eating hot pockets and lemon butter and garlic fish fillets...life is ok. 

The winds of Hurricane Ike reached Cleveland today and, while I was hanging out in willoughby with angela and adam goddard, god decided to fuck with us and smash adams car with a tree...thankfully he was not in it. No one was hurt and the totalled car gave us a reason to go to the bar and get drunk...as if the browns weren't enough.  It also gave me the opportunity to acquire some free plant matter from Adam for giving him a ride home...all in all another good night. 

Pop punk makes any drive home better, by the way.

It's a good thing...

It's a good thing I left this page open last night, otherwise I would've completely forgot that I signed up for this...but it's here now so Ill do what I can to keep it updated. 

I was really drunk last night...more drunk than Ive been in a long time (well more drunk than Ive been in a long time with other people and having fun and not drinking to try to forget how miserable I am). It's a mixed blessing when one of your best friends is the bartender and you drink for free all night...well I guess I can't complain, I probably put down over $100 worth of liquor and beer last night and I didn't get sick or have to deal with a hangover...or pay. All I had to do was get a ride to my car this morning(afternoon) because there was no way in hell I was driving myself home last night...I was literally "on my heels". 

Anyway, hopefully Ill be able to regale you with things other than wasted nights...I don't find my life that interesting but I do love attention so, like I said, Ill try to update frequently. 

third one in ten minutes...really?

I finished six feet under last night and i cried like a baby...ps. i turn 24 in one week...what the fuck

9/14/08...early again...and drunk

here I am blogging again...what does this say about my life? maybe Ill write more when Im sober...I can tell you about what music you should listen to...thats about it...

9/14/08...early

I never thought Id miss caring about football so much...